Archive | June, 2014

Disclosure live at Glastonbury 2014

29 Jun

I don’t think we have ever ever ever been this up to date but Mon Pierre has just used his super duper phone to show us the view from Glastonbury…Disclosure alive alive oh! In fact they are also love on telly but we’ve worked out there’s about three seconds delay in the live feed. That’s in case someone in the crowd gets their knob out or whatever so they can pull the plug before we are outraged. Pretty good but having watched Disclosure for the best part of 30 minutes if it weren’t for the lightshow which is quite impressive I’d be snoring. Actually the music is good, nice vibes but stuff like this evolves from the mixing desk in a studio, you can’t do it live from scratch!

Disclosure live at Google

Disclosure live at Google

There’s two main kids possibly just possibly adding a bit of percussion to a laid down track and if anyone doubts me there’s female vocals hard at work but no sign of any singers just the two kids banging on synth drums and the only thing that I can work out that is actually “live” are the cymbals and a few snare drum claps, the rest for the most part is canned.

I tell a lie, some girl in wellies and a crop tee shirt and knickers has just waddled and pouted onto the stage, done one track, shaken her bot and then gone off into the blue light!

Now to add effect there’s a robot laser face doing the vocals! One of the kids looks like a comprehensive school version of Harry Potter. I missed Dolly Parton! Last track before snooze time and some guy who I’ve never heard of has just come on, he’s called Sam Smith and it sounds like he’s actually doing vocals! Put your hands in the air..sod off. I think you need to be there, maybe Shitfaced and aware that the nearest WC is 20mins away so you just do it down your leg so Pete tells us! Yes,,,,you need to be there!

Look there's Pete!

Look there’s Pete!


Cops save the day, we can sleep peacefully!

29 Jun

Most of the time what makes for a good demo isn’t the actual participants but the response of the boys with big feet who by prowling the beat are protecting the peace of the nation! This image from yesterday’s demo nicked from Ian Bone’s website Anarchist in the UK without asking! That’s what we anarchists do! So there!

If it weren't for the boys in trouble makers could have caused a scene!

If it weren’t for the boys in trouble makers could have caused a scene!

There are shortsighted folks, who insist that these blokes are just just uniformed masters of thuggery

There can be no dispute if they didn’t put the boot in this country would soon go to buggery

So try and keep calm when they’re twisting your arm or planting a fist in your gob..

When they’re kicking you to hell in a cold prison cell..

They’re only just doing their job!

(Ewan MacColl 1984)

What all footballers should be wearing?

27 Jun

It wouldn’t happen in golf or tennis would it? Andy Murray vaulting the net and chomping into whoever has just drowned his chance of winning a second time! No! It only happens on the pitch and outside Yates’s Wine Lodge at 1.30am.

Maybe this would help!

Maybe this would help!


The gene that helped us evade predators, that same gene that saw us evolve from group hunters, pack animals that needed a massive surge of testosterone and adrenalin to see us through and prevent us from becoming a tasty snack, it’s still there! Corrupted and running about some bit of turf below Mexico. Some clown from Liverpool FC trying to suggest that their own version of Lecter should still be allowed to play for them as…well…he’s cost them a lot and the last teeth sinking incident was some distance away where for all we know its a family tradition over there..”Hello Uncle Carlos…!” (use your imagination here). And meanwhile people lose their homes and go without decent food unnoticed!

Mon Pierre (or Pete as those who tried picking him up from the front room floor when semi comatose call him) has once again gone to Glastonbury and has promised to check in regularly although as we are still waiting for last years report do’t hold you breath!

What a Difference Two Days Make…

24 Jun

Saturdays News!

The secretary of state, John Kerry, said the US has released US$572m in previously frozen funds to the Egyptian government.

He made the announcement during his first visit to Cairo since the election of the new president, Abdel Fattah el Sisi. The decision to freeze the funds was taken in the wake of the ousting of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood-aligned president, Mohammed Morsi, last year, but it appears that the US is now willing to accept the democratic credentials of Mr Sisi and the ongoing political transition.
Mondays News!

 The future of three al-jazeera journalists jailed in Egypt looks bleaker after Egypt’s strongman president, Abdel Fattah el Sisi, refused a pardon, ignoring pleas from Barrack Obama to release them and other political prisoners.

Yeah, the check was this big thanks, now fuck off!

Yeah, the cheque was this big thanks, now fuck off!

More Anarchists in The Boardroom

24 Jun

Pay someone a pittance you purchase their arms and legs, pay someone a decent wage you get their mind, treat them like a person and you get their heart….as heard in similar form on Radio 4 last night as they looked at alternative structures for workplace management with mention given to “flat hierarchies!

Anarchists in The Boardroom

Anarchists in The Boardroom

Hierarchies = chains of command. I pay I say You do!. Some businesses are “machine” and some are “people” That doesn’t necessarily fall to the ground where you would expect in that some of the most “brutal” managers I’ve come across have been in local government, often adept at working the situation to their financial benefit and ending up with quite extraordinary power over people and process. Those above them see them as crucial those below as belligerent idiots and are forced to spend their day covering their backs when they could in different days be developing their own potential to everyone’s benefit!

As an anarchist I have an engrained mistrusting attitude to authority and have it seems without fully appreciating it always attempted to introduce anarchist principles into the way I conduct myself and relate to others so even though I “nestle” in workplace hierarchies I’ve always shaped things, tried to temper my attitude to senior managers that have no social skills or those that it seems can despite reams of policy statements on harassment get away with the most awful treatment of those below them. Any milk today mistress?

Bypass has rightfully praised the book “Anarchists in the Boardroom” by Liam Barrington Bush and Liam will be speaking on said topics at the glorious Housmans Bookshop which is five minutes stroll from St Pancras station on the Caledonian Road. It starts at 7.00pm this Wednesday 25th June! That’s London by the way!

Books that hold great potential need to be mentioned as often as possible in order to reach as wide an audience as possible. Quite simple really. We came across Anarchists in The Boardroom through the monthly New Internationalist magazine, liking the review we took a random chance and the success of the crowd-funded publication comes I guess through not only its contents but by sustained word of mouth! Ripe strawberry’s Ripe!

If anyone fancies joining us as we head downtown, body rocking to a southbound rhythm to London, land of Pearly Kings and Queens, dancing chimney sweeps clambering over rooftops and where people break out into wonderfully choreographed song and dance routines* at the drop of a hat we aim to be boarding a 5.30pm (ish) train from Sandy station! Who will by my seet red roses two blooms for a penny|!

*Sorry, when I was a kid I thought this is what London was actually like! Step in time boys, step in time!

Take the hint, consider buying a copy!

Take the hint, consider buying a copy!

Alistair Birt brings the money in!

23 Jun

A big hearty “Well Done” is heading towards Alistair BurtMP for North East Bedfordshire (and incidentally MP for three of the Bedford Bypass team. Four if you include Wiz though she doesn’t vote. That said neither do we!

So why the applause for Alistair? Well not only has he managed to get his wife on the payroll for somewhere in the mid £30K band and didn’t have to pay back some of his expenses, and lets ignore him claiming for peanuts*, between March and June this year Alistair has bagged himself an additional £8333 working for some Leeds based combo called PLLG Ltd.

Alistair Birt. He lost his hair quite quickly it would seem!

Alistair Birt. He lost his hair quite quickly it would seem!

This is what PLLG have to say about themselves:

PLLG Ltd has a deliberate policy of retaining a low profile. You will not find us voluntarily publicising for whom we act or services we have provided to them. PLLG maintains strict confidentiality and displays unyielding integrity. The majority of our clients come from referrals from existing clients. This in itself is a clear message as to the success of PLLG’s philosophy of considering the client first above our own visage. We are careful and selective about the clients from whom we accept instructions to act and jealously guard our reputation and professionalism.

So if I’ve read this correctly Burt has collared an extra £8333 (to date) acting as a consultant to a company that advises business but we, the people that pay Burty Boy’s wage (and also his wife’s) are limited in seeing exactly how his time is being put to use by PLLG! I think I’ll ask him!

*And in case Alistair Burt is considering trying to silence us legally, as a caveat I will here and now accept that they might not have been peanuts, they could well have been mixed nuts and they cost us £3.00. The tight arsed little twat did also claim £2.00 for Pringles and £3.50 for an unspecified minibar item.

Ms Humphrey Cushion will also appreciate this sentiment…you could put a cabbage on a stick in some parts of Bedfordshire and they’d still get elected! It doesn’t matter what you do they always get back in!

Felix Dennis: June 22nd 2014

23 Jun

I told Felix, it was about five years ago, that I’d only come across his poetry because the people at Viz insisted on sending me flyers at which point he (Felix Dennis) being larger than life boomed over to the sales table and a free promo tee shirt showing “Felix and his Unfeasibly Large…bottles of wine” landed on my lap. Although I was standing up! For those Viz readers of old you will know it was a skit on the similarly named “Felix and his Unfeasibly Large Underpants”.

Felix Dennis died June 22nd 2014

Felix Dennis died June 22nd 2014

We saw Felix Dennis multi-millionaire publisher, poet and most of all philanthropist a number of times since then. There was a “comeback” Xmas show up in Stratford on Avon, December 2012 where he was fairly sanguine that his post throat cancer stage was a time to get his head round things rather than a long term respite. Carpe diem so sieze the day..but then by all accounts he’d been doing this for decades. We then saw him over at Milton Keynes last year, oddly enough in the car park in a pre show random encounter. In the few minutes of a chat we had to appreciate that his once “full” physique had departed leaving him gaunt and slightly frail but still leaving a knowing glint in his eye and a smile! When he appeared in front of the audience an hour later he filled both the stage and the room.

Like a cat with many lives, Felix was one of the Oz defendants and if you are the slightest bit interested in the free press, more-so the underground variety then feel very free to have a look at this bit of publishing history. Despite making £millions in publishing he was exceptionally benevolent when it came to giving it away (constructively) through funding education initiatives in the Caribbean and a huge developing woodland in Warwickshire. In later life following a health scare he turned to writing.

Felix Dennis and the Land of Oz!

Felix Dennis and the Land of Oz!

His poetry spoke volumes but was simple and accessible. No big convoluted words or bollocks and so ensuring that despite selling no end of books as far as I’m aware he never got on Radio 4s “Poetry Please” which remains the domain of arty fart clever dicks!

Maybe now that Felix Dennis is no longer with us they might reconsider?

It’s Only A Game after all!

21 Jun
Even Ant and Dec look upset!

Even Ant and Dec look upset!

One, two, three..

Coming home, they’re coming home..England’s coming home! Food stains on their shirts, never quite believed it!

When I see football I see 22 millionaires ruining a lawn but I guess Uruguay don’t earn anything like Rooney and his piss poor mates.

Coming home, they’re coming home…Mick’s got a ticket for one of the matches that England would have been playing if they hadn’t been so cringingly crap. Flying out on Monday for four days. Like going to the cinema knowing the film you wanted to see finished last week.

How’s the Iraqi team doing? No open warfare on the pitch..some of the crowd are on the pitch…

Still, Brazil’s done quite well out of it. Actually some Brazilians have done quite well out of it. And FIFA. Quids in. Good on the England fans for supporting FIFA. Come on sing the song, everyone else is…you at the back…you’re not singing…you look silly…Coming home, they’re coming home…We got in the Independent last week. Not us but Bedford itself on account of our huge Italian community. Then we lost. Then we lost again. Actually we are The Independent again today. Not football, some dodgy locum doctor, been seeing all our sick and the weak, turns out he was struck off ten years back but no one noticed till now! They’re coming home…how embarrassing….

….you all look devastated…Wimbledon and Glastonbury, start looking forward people. I love Glastonbury, my tents ready. Take the telly out down the garden, tent up, don’t pick Wiz’s “do do” up for a few days, empty the bin over the grass, maybe flood the garden. Just like being there.

Alright then, we’ll do the Monty Python song, that always cheers people up, never fails, are you ready, after three, One,two,three

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM…Look I’m only trying to make you feel a bit happier!

A delightful Bedford village!

20 Jun

Ah yes! nestling some three miles away from Bedford, the delightful village of Slags. We assume its near Stagsden!

And after some months no-one from the council has noticed this wonderful artistic adaption of the roadsign!

Bedford Slags

Bedford Slags

No Comment!

20 Jun

If you recall mention of our comment filters this is an example of the sort of thing that many blogs have to contened with on a daily basis, it came as a supposed comment on a recent post on the Borough’s CCTV vans and reads thus:

Pretty section of content. I jusst stumbled upon your
blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog
posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your feeds aand even I
achievement you access consistently fast.

Total utter tat and next doors rabbit could do better so the best thing if you want to add to the content rich, literate, thought provoking, in depth blog that is Bedford Bypass it helps if you refer to the subject of the actual post or maybe send an email to although Gill is (or was) up in Liverpool at last text! Ma McClinton’s brithday this Saturday so I’d better make a phonecall somepoint!

But as for now its Friday so lets have a dance!

What young people do at weekend apparently!

What young people do at weekend apparently!