A Spiffing Night Out in Glasgow

4 Aug

And after Saturday’s viewing of Night of the Demon I thought I’d never find TV as riveting again. How wrong I was. The Commonwealth Games totally eclipsed it. Topped and tailed by Lulu (Scottish) and Kylie (Australia via Wales) The two biggest stars were botoxed midgets but the real thing…Little Jimmy Krankie was nowhere to be seen. Awww!. Coincidence?

Casually observing while making casual observations I’m sure pint sized poppet Lulu was chomping on chewing gum whilst pint sized poppet Kylie’s headdress defied all health and safety rules and could easily have taken someones eye out. Royalty was initially represented by the fact that the keyboard  bloke from single hit single band Deacon Blue was a dead ringer for King George V although the real McCoy in the form of the Earl of Wessex although he’s getting to resemble Jeremy Hardy.  In fact, are they the same person?  After all, you never see them in the same room together.

A spiffing night out in Glasgow

A spiffing night out in Glasgow

I’d failed to make the Kylie connection..it’s because the next lot of games (not the Olympics) in 2018 will be down under. The Gold Coast to be exact. That said geographers will know that the Gold Coast used to be the name of the country now known as Ghana.  Therefore, to avoid confusion, The Gold Coast should change it’s name to the Surfing Coast or something. But back to jiggling Kylie she was rather flat..ooh er missus..no it was the Locomotion and then her most recent memorable hit from ten years ago. Good stuff for nostalgics. Or insomniacs..I was waiting for the news and the latest condemnation from the UN.  Can’t get it out of my head! To add a bit of edge, there should have been a live link up to Rolf Harris in his prison cell.  After all, he’s Australian and was a swimming champ before he came to Britain.  He could have given us a quick blast of “Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport”, after all his incarceration is costing the British tax payer a packet- he should pay his way a bit.  Actually, is he still an Australian citizen? if he is, couldn’t we send him over there to do his time? Bring back transportation! Never did Australia any harm and they get much better weather!

Everyone they asked said the same thing and I never want to hear the phrases “everyone’s been so friendly” and “Glasgow’s made us feel very welcome” again. And again. And again.  I can’t get it out of my head.  Chances are I won’t – need to now the games are over, they’ll all be back to their surly selves. The Commonwealth wall to keep the locals out of the way will come down and all the promised jobs will vanish but by that time we’ve twigged it’ll be the build up to Brazil, grinding poverty once again swept out of the way.   Chucking out time at the Glasgow stadium was a speedy affair and by the time the news came on the cleaners were in there looking for dropped money. I bet it was funny outside but they didn’t show this.

Traditional good quality Scottish music was represented at one point by the golden voice of Karen Mathieson from Capercaillie who I will admit to having liked since 1988 when as youngsters (as was I) they provided the music for a TV series called The Blood is Strong. I’ve traced my McClinton surname back to a loyal arm of the McDonald Clan crofting near the Kyle of Lochalsh (Speed Bonny Boat) but I consider myself as Scottish as the Isle of Wight. As the fireworks went off the crowd all seemed deliriously happy. I don’t think they could have coped with “Donald where’s your troosers”.  It would have blown their minds. I so missed the swinging Krankies though!

And so another day dawned and the descendents of all those responsible for first World War, those warmongers that stayed well out of the way  gathered to commemorate the fallen, those that didn’t start it, didn’t understand it and couldn’t get out of the way! It’ll be all over the TV for the near future in documentary’s starring Claire Balding!

Gill McC


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