Tag Archives: Alistair Burt MP Bedfordshire North East Constituency

Alright Jack Straw

24 Feb

So it’s goodbye to Rifkind the walking cess pit who was as of yesterday going to fight fight fight these scurrilious allegations that hit the headlines with the most scurrilous being the comment about his self employed status. What an elephant size arse he is! Actually he’s an insipid little man.

No movement from Jack Straw as yet but as his nickname some years back was Jack Boots Straw, as atonement I reckon he should stand up straight while everyone who has suffered through the bedroom tax gives him a swifty to his bollocks. He’s allowed a few minutes breather between every 20 kicks to his testicular nether region. He deserves it! Let’s look at some sums. His additional income up to now is circa £115,373.00 (two amounts are predictive rather than actual) plus his salary of £64,000 and then all his other allowances to keep his ship afloat tots up to £163,000 for the last full year so you get £342,648.00.


Back in 1998 agit-prop comedian Mark Thomas took a number of disabled people with severe conditions like MS and Crohns to Straw’s MPs surgery to argue the case for more research into the use of cannabis for pain relief and other bona fide medical purposes. Straw acted like a total arse. When one of the visitors took a tin of roll ups out Straw walked out and the next thing the police turned up en masse as if responding to a terrorist alert….but you can’t arrest someone using crutches for having a tin of tobacco. Mark Thomas made the point that there’s an issue that needs debating here. At the time the key person in the UK who could have initiated this debate was the Home Secretary…Jack Straw. And at the time he’d just made an arse of himself on TV by jumping to conclusions and wasting police time. The clip is actually very funny! I have no problems whatsoever with for example someone with Parkinson’s using plant extract to diminish extreme distress and discomfort but I do have a problem with political fu*kwits!

Straw meets the public!

Straw meets the public!



Real People….?

12 Sep

I really don’t have much time for social networking. Seriously…I don’t have the time to look at endless pictures of someone’s cat with a piece of toast on its head or 37 near identical pics of a two day old baby with squashed face still not fully inflated and adjusting to life in a see through crate.

Linkedin: Where dreams become real. Till your employer rumbles you!

Linkedin: Where dreams become real. Till your employer rumbles you!

One thing that does amuse me is Linkedin which aims to be a “notice board” of sorts for highly creative people. So creative in fact that I keep coming across folk that I have worked with that are making all manner of claims to enhance their CVs like having invented cheese or being the original creator of Harry Potter.

Talking of people who wish they were something more than they actually are…I’m highly dubious about these Community Speedwatch set ups in that the type of person they appeal are the same type that the Police wouldn’t employ in a month of Sundays. Pretend to be cops and what gets me is that Bedfordshire Police who are fast becoming synonymous with duffing mentally handicapped people up and bumping others off whilst in custody and generally letting the public down but in this case they seem to go along with it! Have look at this bunch of misfits, worrying isn’t it. Volunteers! Except the two councillors who are pulling in £10,000 a year and need to get in the papers from time to time!



Apart from oddballs that like power Speedwatch seems to appeal to parochial types out in the sticks and I came across one bunch sitting on deckchairs hiding behind a car with their speedy gun and they get by through a reciprocal arrangement with plod. They scribble your number plate down, send it to plod who may send you a “naughty naughty” letter but then admit that they can’t do anything, they like to threaten even though legally they are up the swanny. Speedwatch types don’t work in the dark nor do they operate on roads where the real nutters are to be found like drivers on the Bedford Bypass doing 90 and cutting across lanes!

For real fun and positive affects you have to subvert the process and be seen to be doing so. Here’s an action shot of a member of the Bedford Bypass team doing just that! Yes!….It’s the Bedford Bypass CCTV Camera of Hope (rescued by Skip Hunter our skip hunter) plonked at the side of the road in a joint initiative between ourselves and those tinkers at The Cunningham Amendment, the best anarchist journal about. There’s no semblance of us pretending to be THE LAW in fact the dress code, fez and Beano advises the opposite but the results are quite good in that said vehicle doing 85 in a 60 zone has time to reflect on her / his sins, repent and then drives off wondering what the flip that was that they’ve just past!

Pant wettingly weird!

Pant wettingly weird!

If any reader has a suggestion for where this amusing set up can be put to deterrent use and more importantly would like to help out then please email us at mcclintongill167@gmail.com

Driving Home: News Round Up!

14 Jul

All quite on the Eastern front so just a few bits and bobs to occupy our growing army of readers who stretch from Bedford to my kind of town Chicago! Via North Wales where Bethan makes cakes!

There’s shock and dismay on the streets of Bedford according to the local paper as Carol Vordermann has…quit Loose Women to concentrate on other opportunities. It all happens in Bedford and the reason this is doing the news round is simply because Carol was born here and that’s about it! Here she is…

Bedford's very own Carol Vordermann

Bedford’s very own Carol Vordermann

The Police have issued a blurred picture of some bloke that’s been filling his car up with fuel and driving off without paying. They have asked for our help. This contrasts somewhat with those late night Channel 70 shows where numerous police forces are shown testing out all sorts of gizmo’s that can tell you the life history of each passing car and what the driver had for tea last night and how come when they show us some miscreant they are almost totally unrecognizable? Here he his… 

Take a good look, win a prize!

Take a good look, win a prize!

I’ve written to my MP Alistair Burt about his good fortune to land a part time job paying £800+ an hour. Still waiting for a reply almost two weeks on. He may be abroad on one of his paid for trips to the Middle East. Here he is…

I’ve placed a Freedom of Information request asking Bedford Borough for more info justifying their decision to turn the lollipop crossing staff into mobile CCTV systems by getting them bodycams. The claim was that they are daily on the receiving end of knobhead drivers and all I’ve asked the council to do is give me the cost of the bodycam systems and the number of incidents that have involved Bedfordshire Plod!

Worth every penny! I really hope he gets elected next year!

Worth every penny! I really hope he gets elected next year!

There seems to be a third CCTV camera van trundling around to keep the other two happy. Given that they are losing us thousands per annum they seem to have kept that quiet but again I notice that the council prefer to park the hated CCTV happy snappy van in the car park at the front of Borough Hall at night and I’m frightfully worried that some agrieved driver might seek revenge by whacking the camera with some wood! Hope not. Its parked right near the main door, under the trees, if passing have a look to check its alright and not been damaged as this would give our daft mayor something to moan about!  Here they are…

Don't hurt the vans!

Don’t hurt the vans!


Over and out!

What about that Bird?

4 Jul

Like when Ernie Wise dies leaving Eric behind, Bernie Winters and Schnorbitz, while there’s no sympathy for Rolf Harris its Emu that’s another unfortunate victim here as he’s effectively out of work unless he can get another British based antipodean to shove his arm up his jacksie!

Bye bye Big Bird!

Bye bye Big Bird!

Just watching Coulson getting 18 months, whenever someone with any “celebrity” status get sent down they always show them being taken away from court with photographers desperately running after the van. Coulson got one lone snapper trying without luck to keep up with the Serco Mobile as it set off through London. The van was very much in the lead but I’ll give him fair dues for trying. Farrar and Bolt better watch out!

And other news: We have a new big enormous military ship the size of Biggleswade that’s gone way over budget and from what I’ve seen isn’t finished as yet. Lets see it sail to Baghdad. It’s the kidney machine’s that pay for rockets and guns but the public get what the public want!

Former Bedfordshire Councillor Susan Gaszcza (sic) has quit the Lib Dem’s after refusing to enhance her career by going with Lord Reynard to his hotel bedroom after what sounds like an attempted grope. Actually its a bit more complex than that, she quit after the Lib Dem’s showed their true colours by not having a clue what to do about the complaints about the very very very tactile Lord who was perhaps the essence of touchy feely! Nick Clegg really is a useless fuckwit! So are most Lib Dem’s but I always thought Susan was out of place with wet Nick, Mayor Dave and that amusing vicar bloke from Brickhill!

I really want to see Clegg out of work and humiliated. I won’t miss him but it’s Emu that is going to leave a hole in my heart!


Alistair Burt MP, A well travelled man of the world

1 Jul

Mana Mana! Doo doody doo do! We informed over 200 readers last week that local Bedfordshire MP Alistair Burt had been paid £8333 for what looks like 18 hours work giving him an attractive £462 per hour. He’s also declared £17,000 in international visits to the Middle East. Up till last year Mr Burt was part of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) and quite often turned up in various war zones with these foreign excursions paid for by the Ministrey. Of late various middle east countries have welcomed him at their expense!

Alistair Burt MP meets senior Yemeni and Saudi statesmen when he was a minister. Both countries carry out public executions.

Alistair Burt MP meets senior Yemeni and Saudi statesmen when he was a minister. Both countries carry out public executions.

Alistair left us all behind as he flew out on a jet plane to Bahrain and has declared a gift of £3040. Amnesty International report that if you live there and object to something political you stand a good chance of getting your head caved in by government security forces who have been linked to dozens of arbitrary deaths! Alistair was there as a guest of something called the Manama Dialogue which despite sounding like that Muppet song is actually a strategic defence group for Middle Eastern interests! Oil security basically!

Another declaration from our MP shows £7000 for him and his wife to visit the United Arab Emirates. The UAE know how to respond to critique as Political activist Obaid Yousef al-Zaab  found out when he was arrested after giving an interview to CNN on 11 December 2013. Banged up good and proper the UAE like holding activists as prisoners of conscience, with no right to appeal. We can but hope that Alistair raises these issues head to head with this autocratic regime! Mana Mana!

Ma na ma na...

Ma na ma na…

And there’s more…but this time he left the missus at home and accepted £4000 to go to Qatar. Now there’s a funny story here in that Qatar recently rejected recommendations of members of the Human Rights Council that it “abolish stoning and flogging from its legislation. Now Qatar objected on the basis that they don’t actually stone people these days but they certainly flog and their track record isn’t beyond reproach by any means.  Nernerpner ner ner ner…mana mana!


Last but not least he accepted £3000 to go on a fact finding mission to Kurdistan but given that he got er..relieved of his war correspondent job last year quite what the MP for a mostly rural constituency is doing going to Kurdistan in addition to Bahrain, Qatar and the UAE is well beyond us! The letter to Mr Burt is in the post and I will publish his reply when it arrives!

Yemeni open air entertainment!

Yemeni open air entertainment!

Please note, since he stepped down from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office Alistair Burt has had no dealings with either the Yemeni or Saudi Governments