Tag Archives: Ed Balls MP

Celebrate Mothers Day in Style

11 Mar

It’s Mother’s Day coming up so don’t forget! I’ve forgiven my Ma for putting me up for adoption and arranging for me to be shipped out from Liverpool to Manchester just as the Beatles and Merseysound was kicking off. Mind you I was in Manchester when punk happened so it all ended well!

If strapped for cash just cut and give to Ma!

If strapped for cash just cut and give to Ma!

Oedipus* liked his mum very much and to express his love he married her, killed his dad and then poked his own eyes out! Now that’s a bit extreme. Some flowers would do, maybe do the washing up, take her out for a garden centre Sunday lunch at that place near the landfill site! That sort of thing! (*from the set of Theban plays by Sophocles: Oedipus the King, Oedipus at Colonus, and Antigone**) ((*Not that I’ve read them I just nicked this bit from Wikipedia)) ((( When I say “this bit” I meant the bit about the set of Theban plays by Sophocles: Oedipus the King, Oedipus at Colonus, and Antigone))) Why has it come out in red?

Make your old lady feel special!

Make your old lady feel special!


Bedford Skeptics Are in The Pub…or are they?

20 Feb


The truth is out there

The truth is out there

Well I have finally come up against a subject that foxes me. Baffled. Gobsmacked. William Shatnered! Philosophy. Over my head by some miles. Last night’s meeting of Skeptics in the Pub featured a very bouncy Clio Bellenis who spoke to a fairly large crowd of people who were either very clever or unlike me were keeping their confused state under wraps. 

Imagine it having "Bedford" at the top!

Imagine it having “Bedford” at the top!

I got slightly animated when a picture of Data from Star Trek came on and I thought I was on safe ground but then matters moved to whether he had a soul or a sentient conscience. He’s a robot. Then we got onto beam technology and I think we were supposed to be talking about whether your soul beams down or whether having beamed down to the planet Zarg are you the same person or just a load of atoms. I was thinking of the seaside. BUT THEN…Riker got mentioned and an episode where he gets split into two identical Riker’s by the beam, that was a good one and he started off a bit bad and then joined the resistance on Deep Space Nine. Then Clio started talking about philosophy again and I was back on the beach.

Now I’ve heard this bit before but apparently when Jason and his Nauts were sailing on the Argo battling giants, winged goblins and those skeletons at the end well they had to keep repairing the ship as they went on. To the point where when they got home all of the ship had been replaced. Now someone was following them picking the old bits up and had managed to build a slighty dodgy but still recognisable Argo patched up with polyfilla. And the philosophical question was “Which ship was the Argo”. Now I don’t remember this from the famous 1963 film but I reckon Clio might want to update this and use the Sugarbabies pop group instead as they changed singers to the point where the final three Sugarbabies weren’t the original.

And to be honest at this point you're not the slightest bit interested in what they are singing....

And to be honest at this point you’re not the slightest bit interested in what they are singing….

And then the original three Sugarbabies got back together again and there was a battle in space or something like that. See what I mean.

And then whales can recognise themselves in mirrors begging the question as to how they discovered this. And in science to prove this wasn’t fluke or a very clever whale they would have had to do say 20? Maybe more…


I asked about Schrodinger’s Cat (I changed the subject matter from philosophy to Quantum wot not and she was too polite to tell me but I knew already) which debates whether a cat in a box is dead or alive and my tip is if you hear it meow that’s a good sign. A rotten stench is a bad sign. And Schrodinger never played the piano with Snoopy in Peanuts that was his son Schroeder!

Schrodingers Oiano

Schrodingers Oiano

Philosophy, physics, psychology…it’s all a bit much on a Thursday evening when you’ve spent all day wading through lists of hazardous chemicals while simultaneously waiting for news as to whether your cars passed its MOT test but despite being both impressed and confused by the subject matter, with emphasis on the latter I enjoyed the evening with the Skeptics and at least I know now when it comes to philosophy to give it a wide berth. I asked Debs if she understood it having told her that I didn’t , she pondered a minute or so and said rather philosophically “Nope me neither”.

Skeptics in the Pub meets monthly at the North End Social Club which is Bedford’s premier” Phoenix Nights” style venue and rather good! And as it’s a club not a pub that explains the title. I think! Therefore I am!




Islamic State Tourist Board

5 Feb

No matter how hard you try to get your head around some global situations it’s impossible. Sometime back acclaimed journalist Robert Fisk attempted to draw the world’s attention to the slaughter of captured Syrian soldiers by Islamic State using the brutal mediaeval method of burning them alive and desecrating the remains, an act forbidden under Islam. It didn’t get much coverage but the world continued to turn. And now it’s all over the media in a manner that leaves you numb with some highly refined media manipulation that many Governments must envy. There’s nothing specific in the Koran about death by fire although if you stretch things it sort of allows for any form of grotesque “punishment” and the question of whether this punishment should be administered by god or by his earth bound advocates becomes immaterial.

It’s hard to find anything that diverts human thought from the subject matter. Following that Jihaddams Family skit from a week or so back I’d come up with the following…..ISIS..One minute they’re offering a nice way for people to invest their savings with guaranteed returns the next thing they’ve gone off the rails and are butchering people! You just can’t trust financial advisors! That’s the last time I buy an Islamic State fundraising calendar! The Islamic State Tourist Board really has an uphill struggle! Let’s send Middle East Peace Envoy Tony Blair to have a chat with them as he’s responsible for destabilising the whole region! They’ll probably say thanks mate and honour him as their co-founder!

Didn't he do well?

Didn’t he do well?

It’s the last one that I cling to. This fervent view that at some point they’re going to dig Blair’s back garden up and then do him for mass murder! Or I’ll settle for a game show called A Seriously Rich Idiot Abroad (my idea telly people) where they drop him off on the Iraqi / Syrian border with water, Kendal Mint Cake, map and compass plus several years worth of Robert Fisk columns from the Independent  and he’s got 24hrs to get to the rendezvous point!  While we wait for the phone call from Channel Four here’s a nice website with admirable aims!



GOTHAM? Riveting Viewing On a Monday Night!

28 Oct

Well then…did you see Gotham last night? Channel 5 at 9.00pm Nope!!!! Well neither did I. I intended to. I really did! But I thought I’d watch Panorama on BBC which started at 8.00pm. It usually lasts an hour. Perfect!

A dark city where even darker deeds occur!

A dark city where even darker deeds occur!

Riveting. A two hour dissection of the Haringey Council and the Baby P affair with more villains coming out of the woodwork than anything Gotham could offer. Dodgy misinformation from the Police. Ed Balls clearly trying to wriggle his way out of any responsibility. ZOK! The Sun organising a witch hunt, blame, violent anger, broken lives, David Cameron using the opportunity to his advantage and talking utter dribble and a small number of people being hounded by a mob who preferred to go for the easiest option of accusation rather than seeking out root causes (chronic underfunding) and rectification (increased funding). KERRANG! That’s putting it very simply and in amongst this melting pot was the earlier Victoria Climbie case the fall out of which made working for social services in Haringey as appealing as hand washing ebola safety clothing. BAM!

A kick to the Balls!

A kick to the Balls!

Highlight of the programme was the Met Police having failed to fulfil their obligations and ignoring obvious warning signs being exposed as having briefed ravenous journalists that the real bogey men were social service. KAPPOW! Posh boy Cameron popped up going on about a feckless 17 year old mum on benefits and incompetent social workers. She was 28 and OFSTED had just found Haringey to have made substantial improvements. Ballsy had a go at Cameron and was then shown trying his best to stay mates with The Sun! Sycophantic parasites the both of them! And The Sun..well!

Kerrack!!!!Worst of all was that Doctor (wearing a head scarf) so clearly not one of the gang as far as The Sun was concerned ! BIFF! She examined Baby P and failed to…FAILED TO notice he had a broken back. She failed! Ooooh it got Sun readers lathered up. But then a highly qualified doctor comes along and states categorically that having examined Peter’s small corpse the spinal damage occurred after the doctors examination. That nugget escaped the Sun pitchfork wielding mob. The doctors life collapsed. Total! It woz that Sun wot dun it! WHAM! Also ignored was the fact that an Ofsted report praising Haringey for the turnaround of its care service was conveniently shelved in eventual favour of one that was much more lurid and damning. Cue more anger from The Sun.

Twat! Serious twat!

Twat! Serious twat!

And then a heavily compromised and rushed report on potential failures of Haringey turns out to have been through 14 re-writes with the final versions being worked on by people not involved in the investigation. And all to suit one purpose. Ballsy turns up at a press conference and “sacks” Sharon Shoesmith. THWACK! Even though she doesn’t work for him. I’ve been told not to use bad language but Ed Balls really is bag of luke warm cow shit!

The previously highly regarded Mrs Shoesmith without any help from Batman and having to put up with death threats from Sun readers digs away at the mountain of lies and in true superhero fashion starts to be able to play a part in exposing a whole series of lies, deceptions, atrocious attempts to denigrate and boost paper sale. KERRUNCH! Sharon Shoesmith admitted failures in an open manner and she emerged from the sad story as having integrity which is more than can be said for Balls!

OOYAH! And that was it. Two hours of exceptional high quality investigative journalism giving people damaged by vested interests and a culture of connivance the chance to be heard. I recall at the time feeling overwhelming sadness but aware that people who may have been able to help identify corporate failures were being hung out to dry when it was very clear that they had gone into Haringey at a time when most people were leaving. SPLATT! Some agencies like the Govt with Balls in departmental charge and the Police clearly aware of their failings sought not to sit round the table but to stitch others up and retreat into the wings. Saddest of all was the fact that Sharon Shoesmith and colleagues were able to state that what happened to Baby Peter wasn’t an isolated incident from the view of front line professionals. Neither the first nor last! And as the credits rolled after an absorbing two hours the basic facts and figures on how many children had died in similar circumstances just made me numb!

Sharon Shoesmith! Integrity, commitment and compassion there for all to see!

Sharon Shoesmith! Integrity, commitment and compassion there for all to see!

Gotham is repeated on Friday. This Panorama needs top be repeated every night till we all realise the extent to which we are misinformed!