Tag Archives: Mayor Dave Hodgson

Conservative Candidate Goes into Hiding!

12 Mar

Bedford Conservative’s candidate for the Mayoral election is undertaking a sponsored hide between now and election day to help raise funds! This novel move by Jas Parmar will see the former policeman, former candidate for the Police Commissioner job and former Borough Councillor hiding up and not being seen whilst the rest of the hopefuls will be  going around disturbing people trying to watch the local news.

Jas meets Nadine Dorries's elderly mum before he went into hiding!

Jas meets Nadine Dorries’s elderly mum before he went into hiding!

A spokesperson for Mr Parmar who hasn’t been seen standing next to anyone famous for some considerable time said “Even we don’t know where he is which shows how much his extensive training at merging into the background has paid off”

Senior Tories believe that the “man of mystery” tag will engender support in that apart from not being seen Mr Parmar is also keeping very quiet on what he will do if he gets elected Mayor of Bedford. When asked if this was a winning tactic the spokesperson who doesn’t want to be named for fear of being told off said “The question of where he is and what exactly he is up to…this sense of wonderment.. if it can be turned into votes he should have the red coat and chains in the bag!

Experts however fear that if the tactic fails Jas Parmar could go the same way as previous Tory hopeful John Guthrie who believed that spending most of his time drinking tea in posh rural houses talking to the converted would propel him to the hot seat in Borough Hall!

Always in the background!

Always in the background!

Real People….?

12 Sep

I really don’t have much time for social networking. Seriously…I don’t have the time to look at endless pictures of someone’s cat with a piece of toast on its head or 37 near identical pics of a two day old baby with squashed face still not fully inflated and adjusting to life in a see through crate.

Linkedin: Where dreams become real. Till your employer rumbles you!

Linkedin: Where dreams become real. Till your employer rumbles you!

One thing that does amuse me is Linkedin which aims to be a “notice board” of sorts for highly creative people. So creative in fact that I keep coming across folk that I have worked with that are making all manner of claims to enhance their CVs like having invented cheese or being the original creator of Harry Potter.

Talking of people who wish they were something more than they actually are…I’m highly dubious about these Community Speedwatch set ups in that the type of person they appeal are the same type that the Police wouldn’t employ in a month of Sundays. Pretend to be cops and what gets me is that Bedfordshire Police who are fast becoming synonymous with duffing mentally handicapped people up and bumping others off whilst in custody and generally letting the public down but in this case they seem to go along with it! Have look at this bunch of misfits, worrying isn’t it. Volunteers! Except the two councillors who are pulling in £10,000 a year and need to get in the papers from time to time!

Weird!

Weird!

Apart from oddballs that like power Speedwatch seems to appeal to parochial types out in the sticks and I came across one bunch sitting on deckchairs hiding behind a car with their speedy gun and they get by through a reciprocal arrangement with plod. They scribble your number plate down, send it to plod who may send you a “naughty naughty” letter but then admit that they can’t do anything, they like to threaten even though legally they are up the swanny. Speedwatch types don’t work in the dark nor do they operate on roads where the real nutters are to be found like drivers on the Bedford Bypass doing 90 and cutting across lanes!

For real fun and positive affects you have to subvert the process and be seen to be doing so. Here’s an action shot of a member of the Bedford Bypass team doing just that! Yes!….It’s the Bedford Bypass CCTV Camera of Hope (rescued by Skip Hunter our skip hunter) plonked at the side of the road in a joint initiative between ourselves and those tinkers at The Cunningham Amendment, the best anarchist journal about. There’s no semblance of us pretending to be THE LAW in fact the dress code, fez and Beano advises the opposite but the results are quite good in that said vehicle doing 85 in a 60 zone has time to reflect on her / his sins, repent and then drives off wondering what the flip that was that they’ve just past!

Pant wettingly weird!

Pant wettingly weird!

If any reader has a suggestion for where this amusing set up can be put to deterrent use and more importantly would like to help out then please email us at mcclintongill167@gmail.com

Phil Simpkins in the picture…just!

6 Jul

I will no doubt be in a minority here but I found the below photo quite funny. Its a line of the local great and good including Bedford’s Mayor Dave Hodgson and Bedford and Kempston MP Richard Fuller in the striped tie and squeezing his bum cheeks together next to some chap in fancy dress. In between the MP and strangely garbed bloke you can clearly see Phil Simpkins Chief Exec of Bedford Borough Council having to lean in to get his mush in on the picture! That is a lean to match the tower of Piza! So very eager to get in the picture!

Add the wages together, it'll make you laugh! Isn't Fuller tiny!

Add the wages together, it’ll make you laugh! Isn’t Fuller tiny!

Technically Phil earns more than the MP for the day job but Fuller earns exceedingly large amounts of money through “other” activities!

Sorry if you don’t live in Bedford as this blog will go straight past you. Come to think of it even if you live in Bedford you might not find this the slightest bit interesting!

Oy, don't miss me out!

Oy, don’t miss me out!

Perhaps They Are Related?

22 Jan

What do you think?

Herr Lipp from the League of Gentlemen

Herr Lipp from the League of Gentlemen

Lord Rennard

Lord Rennard

OK not as good as Private Eye and I’ve been told to remove the section that says ..XXXX removed ……and the other is a character from The League of Gentlemen!

Need a wee wee?

29 Mar

Full bag? Need to go..you know..wee wees, well if you are shopping round Bedford you might have a problem as the council have closed most of the public WCs down but worry no longer. Cafe Thirteen on St Pauls Sq has opened. its a council facility so if you’ve had a few coffees at The Piazza over the road where Libby will make you a nice sandwich with a smile and some banter and you’d like to have a pee before you set off shopping simply pop into Cafe Thirteen. divest yourself of your burden (remembering to wash your paws and check for food betwen your teeth) and then off you go.

Decent opening times for bodily functions!

Decent opening times for bodily functions!

No need to spend any money there in fact we would discourage you from such activity, far better to spend it somewhere else. But there you go, Bedford Bypass solves the problem of having nowhere to have a wee in Bedford! We don’t charge for this useful advice but feel free to leave a comment. I’ve been asked to tell you about the time I was bitten by a fox so I’ll think of the best way to fit it in!

The best public loos in Bedford! You can Aaaaaah! in style.

The best public loos in Bedford! You can Aaaaaah! in style.